Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
third nipple confirmed
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
