remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
