she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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