I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
