She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
