just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
