Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
