Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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