I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
