So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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