Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
