i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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