He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
