just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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