We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
