just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
