Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
