Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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