This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
