Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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