I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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