I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
