he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
