i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I licked your asshole in confidence.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
