I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
