the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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