she looked like the before picture.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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