There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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