the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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