Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
