Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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