Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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