think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
