just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
