Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
