If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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