Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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