Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
