once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How does one acquire holy water?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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