he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Randomize
