things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
They have beer where we have blood.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize