just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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