He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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