were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
