Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
