I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
