What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize