The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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