bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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