Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Everyone says I win the strip club
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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