How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize