There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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