If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
