i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
operation have a gay friend backfired
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
