you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
