Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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